Hayden Panettiere recently opened up for the first time about how her body reacted to the trauma of losing her younger brother, Jansen, who passed away at 28 due to an undiagnosed enlarged heart. Speaking with PEOPLE, the 35-year-old actress shared that just days after his death, her body underwent an unexpected transformation.
“When my brother passed away, my body did something I’d never seen before, which was within days,” she said, explaining how she gained 40 pounds rapidly. “I just ballooned out,” she added, noting that it didn’t matter what she ate or how she behaved. She believed the stress and cortisol caused this reaction, with her body building a protective barrier between itself and the world.
Panettiere also revealed that she developed agoraphobia in the wake of her grief, making it impossible for her to leave her house for months. Seeing paparazzi photos of herself after her brother’s funeral intensified her struggles, leading her to feel unrecognizable and damaging her self-esteem.
Eventually, she found some healing through physical activity, walking and working out with her physical therapist, Marnie Alton, who helped her both physically and emotionally. “These long, beautiful walks where we could vent… It was therapy,” Panettiere shared. The experience allowed her to release the high expectations she placed on herself, and her agoraphobia began to lift alongside her anxiety.
Although she is in a better place now, Panettiere acknowledged the lasting pain of losing her only sibling. “He was my job to protect,” she said. “I lost a piece of my soul… I’ll never get over the fact that he broke my heart, and I’ll never be able to move on. No matter how many years pass, I will never fully recover from his loss.”