Yesterday was my birthday, and my husband invited his best friend, Matt, along with Matt’s pregnant girlfriend, Jane, to a cookout. They live just two houses down. It ended up being a small gathering—just them with their three kids, us with our three kids. I spent about $90 on hamburgers and hotdogs, and Matt contributed around two pounds of hamburger meat. While the men were handling the grilling, I joined the kids for a swim in our pond. Jane mostly sat nearby, on her phone, keeping an eye on the boys. Around 5:30, the guys called the kids over to eat.
My middle child (9) and I weren’t hungry yet, so we stayed in the pond, floating around on our tubes for another 40 minutes or so. I wasn’t really paying attention to what was happening at the grill. Then, around 6:15, my husband mentioned he was heading out to the store, so I told my son it was probably time for us to get out and have dinner. But when we got up to the grill, my husband, Matt, and Jane were gone—and so was all the food.
I called my husband to ask where the food was, and he said it should still be on the grill. I told him it was completely gone. After a pause, he admitted, “Jane asked if she could take some for leftovers, but I didn’t think she’d take everything.” He explained that when he left for the store about 10 minutes earlier, there had still been at least eight burgers, ten hotdogs, and macaroni salad left.
I told him to check with Matt about what happened. He called back later, saying Matt claimed Jane only took “a few” and they had already eaten them. But my oldest (13) immediately told me he saw Jane walk off our property with the entire foil tray of food—the really big kind meant for BBQs. At that point, I was pretty upset. Neither my son nor I had eaten anything.
My husband was angry too, but instead of confronting them, he just picked up food at the store for my son and me. I didn’t fault him for that, since he and Matt work together and it can be complicated. But then, to my surprise, Jane showed up again about 45 minutes later with her kids, asking for some of my birthday cake. I told her that her children could have some, but she couldn’t. She asked me why, and I said, “I think you’ve eaten enough, considering you left with all of my BBQ before my son and I even got a plate.”
She tried to defend herself, saying my husband had told her she could take it, that half of it was “hers” because they brought two pounds of meat, and that she hadn’t realized my son and I hadn’t eaten (even though she was standing at the grill the entire time). I just shrugged and walked away. She told her kids, “Let’s go,” and they left without cake.
Now I’m left wondering if I was in the wrong. No one has brought it up since, but I can feel the tension.