After rising to fame as one of Hollywood’s biggest stars during its Golden Age, legendary actress and singer Doris Day passed away two years ago at the age of 97.
Between 1947 and 1967, she recorded nearly 650 songs, starred in almost 30 films, and earned numerous accolades for her contributions to music and cinema, including the prestigious Presidential Medal of Freedom.
The beloved entertainer passed in 2019, but a close friend recently revealed that she had no wish for a funeral, grave marker, or memorial service.
But why? Let’s explore the reasons behind her decision.
A Star Known for Her Talent and Humility
Doris Day was adored for her remarkable talent, love of animals, and down-to-earth nature. Over her five-decade career, she became a household name, starring in classics such as The Man Who Knew Too Much, Love Me or Leave Me, and Pillow Talk.
Despite marrying four times, she had only one child. Her son, Terry Melcher—whom she had with her first husband, Al Jorden—passed away from melanoma in 2004.
Beyond her success in Hollywood, Day was a dedicated animal rights advocate, using her platform to speak for those who had no voice.
A Musical Icon and Philanthropist
As a Grammy-winning artist, Day left an indelible mark on the music industry. Her timeless hits, including Sentimental Journey, Secret Love, and Que Sera Sera, earned a place in the Grammy Hall of Fame.
Her passion for animal welfare led her to establish the Doris Day Animal Foundation, and in 2020, an auction of over 1,000 of her personal items raised $3 million for the cause. She also played a key role in creating a Texas Horse Rescue and Adoption Center to help abandoned and mistreated horses.
Her Final Wishes
Doris Day passed away at her home in Carmel Valley, California, in 2019. Her charity confirmed her death from pneumonia, adding that she had specifically requested no public memorials, funerals, or grave markers. Instead, she was cremated, and her ashes were scattered.
Her longtime friend and manager, Bob Bashara, explained that she struggled with the concept of death and avoided discussing funerals.
“She hated the idea of dying and couldn’t even be present when her pets had to be put down,” Bashara shared in a 2019 interview with People. When the topic of planning for her own passing came up, she would simply say, “I don’t want to think about it.”
Even when making her will, her main concern was ensuring her beloved animals would be cared for.
A Private Yet Spiritual Person
Although raised Catholic, Day later embraced Christian Science after marrying producer Martin Melcher. However, following his passing in 1968, she drifted away from organized religion, though she remained deeply spiritual.
“She believed in God and always felt her voice was a gift,” Bashara noted. “She would say, ‘God gave me a voice, and I just used it.’”
After retiring from acting in the early 1970s, she briefly returned for two television series and later hosted Doris Day’s Best Friends, a talk show on the Christian Broadcasting Network, in 1985.
A Humble Legacy
Bashara admitted he was never entirely sure why Day chose not to have a funeral but believed it was due to her naturally shy personality.
“She never fully understood why people adored her so much,” he said. “Even with the fan letters, she never let fame change who she was. She remained the Cincinnati girl with extraordinary talent who simply followed her passion.”
As per her wishes, her ashes were scattered, and her estate was donated to charity.
In the end, we must all come to terms with mortality in our own way, and Doris Day’s wishes deserve to be respected.
Her legacy as a talented actress, singer, and advocate will continue to be cherished. Rest in peace, Doris Day.