Our son (26M) has been with his girlfriend for about two years, and they’ve been living together for a while. We’ve always thought she was a nice person—she seemed to make him happy, and we never had any major concerns. Our son recently started his own law firm, and we’re very proud of him. To support him, we were fortunate enough to provide him with a start-up loan. His girlfriend works in retail and seems content with her job.
A few months ago, when we visited their apartment, we decided to order some takeout. Since his girlfriend was placing the order on her phone, my husband and I handed her our card so she could pay for that meal. It was clear to us that this was meant as a one-time thing.
Fast forward a few months, and we started noticing strange charges we didn’t recognize. After having our accountant look into it, we discovered something shocking: not only had she added our card to her Apple Pay, but she had also racked up about $17,000 worth of charges over several months.
We immediately confronted her. At first, she tried to deny it. Then she got defensive and said she was “entitled to it”—and even had the nerve to argue that since we hadn’t noticed for months, we shouldn’t care.
We told her point-blank that she either needed to pay us back immediately or we’d be reporting this as theft. She claims she doesn’t have the money to repay us. When we went to our son, he offered to pay us back himself—even though he really can’t afford to. But for us, this isn’t about the money. It’s about the fact that she knowingly stole from us, repeatedly, and refuses to take any responsibility.
Our son is brushing it off, calling it “stress-related,” but she still hasn’t admitted fault. At this point, we’re leaning toward filing a police report—not because we need the money, but because we think she needs to face the consequences of her actions.
So, Reddit: Would we be the assholes if we reported her for theft?