Our son and his girlfriend, both 26, have been in a relationship for two years and currently live together. We’ve always found her to be pleasant, and she seems to make our son happy, so we’ve had no concerns. He’s in the process of launching his own law firm, and we’re proud of him — fortunate enough to be able to support him with a start-up loan. His girlfriend works in retail and seems genuinely happy in her role.
During a recent visit to their apartment, we all decided to order dinner. Since she was placing the order on her phone, we handed her our card to cover the cost. We believed it was clear this was a one-time use for that meal. However, she apparently added our card to her Apple Pay and has been using it ever since.
We didn’t notice the transactions right away, but after a few months, we found charges we couldn’t explain. Our accountant looked into it and confirmed two things: 1) our son’s girlfriend had been using our card via her phone, and 2) she had spent about $17,000. We were stunned. When we confronted her, she initially denied it, then became defensive and claimed she was “entitled” to use it, adding that we hadn’t noticed for over four months, so why did it matter?
We told her she had to repay the full amount immediately or we would report the matter as theft. She claimed she didn’t have the funds to pay us back. When we spoke with our son, he offered to repay the amount, though he clearly isn’t in a position to do so. This issue isn’t about the money — it’s about the principle of taking a significant sum without permission.
Our son insists her behavior is due to stress, but she has refused to accept responsibility for what she did. We’re now proceeding with a police report, hoping it will help her understand the seriousness of her actions. Are we wrong for doing this?
Note: They aren’t married — we’ve just referred to her as “daughter-in-law” for clarity.