“My Ex-MIL Is Manipulating My Daughter After My Wife’s Death” – Father Seeks Support Online
A grieving father turned to social media for advice after discovering disturbing behavior from his late wife’s mother—behavior that appears to be influencing his young daughter in troubling ways.
The man shared that his first wife, who was also the mother of his daughter (now nine), tragically passed away during childbirth. Her mother, referred to as “Gill” for privacy, was understandably devastated by the loss. With no other children of her own, Gill began treating her granddaughter as a replacement for the daughter she had lost. Although this made the father uncomfortable, he tried to be understanding, believing everyone processes grief differently.
But over time, Gill began to overstep boundaries. She would introduce the girl as her own daughter and even prepared a nursery in her home, as if she were the child’s primary caregiver. In a particularly alarming incident, she attempted to convince hospital staff to let her take the baby home after discharge—an effort that took over two hours to resolve.
The father devoted the first two years of his daughter’s life entirely to raising her alone, avoiding romantic relationships. At age three, he met his current wife, who formed a loving bond with the child. When the girl turned six, they gently explained that her biological mother had passed away and that her stepmother was now part of the family. Gill, however, resented this development and made no secret of her disdain for the man’s new partner.
The family is now preparing to relocate to another state for a job promotion and better opportunities. Gill, aware of the move from the beginning, has tried to block it at every turn—even going so far as to file a false report with Child Protective Services, claiming the couple is neglecting their daughter in favor of their unborn baby. The father suspects Gill’s real motivation is to gain custody if the child were ever removed from their home. Thankfully, both their current and future states don’t recognize grandparents’ rights.
Having had enough, the father firmly reminded Gill that he—not she—is the child’s legal guardian and the one responsible for her wellbeing. He emphasized that although he harbored no personal affection for Gill, he had never kept her away from her granddaughter. She visited regularly and often stayed overnight.
But after her most recent stay, something felt off. During the ride home, his daughter became unusually quiet. When gently questioned, she tearfully asked if her parents were planning to leave her behind after the baby was born. Shocked, he assured her this wasn’t the case and asked where she got that idea. That’s when the painful truth came out: Gill had been planting this fear in her for some time, telling her she’d be forgotten and that only her grandmother would continue to love her.
Even more troubling, the child revealed that for the past year, Gill had been encouraging her to refer to her as “mom” during phone calls—and had told her to keep it secret from both her father and stepmother.
The online community responded with sympathy and strong words of support. Many commenters warned the father not to underestimate the seriousness of Gill’s actions. “She’s trying to turn your daughter into her second chance at motherhood,” one person wrote. “She’s manipulating her and gaslighting her. You need to act now.”
The general consensus was clear: Gill’s behavior is dangerous and emotionally damaging. Commenters urged the father to get his daughter into therapy immediately and cut off unsupervised visits with the grandmother.
One commenter, who had also lost a child, emphasized that while grief is hard, it’s no excuse for toxic behavior. “She should be happy your daughter has a loving stepmother. I’ve seen it work in my own life.”
Another advised: “If you must see Gill again before the move, only do so with you present—never let your wife handle it alone. Gill doesn’t respect her and will try to undermine her.”
In the end, many hoped the father would take swift action to protect his daughter’s emotional wellbeing, wishing the family peace and healing in their next chapter.