Joke 1:
A girl went to visit her blonde friend, who had just gotten two new dogs. Curious, she asked what their names were. The blonde responded, “One’s Rolex, and the other’s Timex.”
The girl raised an eyebrow and said, “Who names their dogs that?”
The blonde grinned and replied, “Helloooo… they’re watch dogs!”
Joke 2:
A pastor went to the dentist to get dentures. On his first Sunday wearing them, he could barely preach for eight minutes. The next week, he managed to speak for ten. But on the third Sunday, he talked non-stop for nearly three hours, until the congregation finally got him to sit down.
Worried, someone asked, “Pastor, are you alright? What’s going on?”
He answered, “The first week, my gums were sore, so I kept it short. The second week was better, so I spoke a little longer. But today… I accidentally put in my wife’s teeth—and I just couldn’t stop talking!”