My wife (28F) and I (30M) have been married for three years and generally have a good relationship. Before we got married, we agreed not to have children. After our wedding, however, she changed her mind and insisted on having a baby. Despite my reminders about our original agreement, she was adamant, while I remained convinced that I did not want kids.
To prevent conflict, I quietly underwent a vasectomy last year without telling her, feeling justified since she had disregarded our prior arrangement. A few months later, she happily told me she was pregnant. Shocked, I immediately suspected infidelity, not having disclosed my vasectomy.
She thought my suspicions were absurd, claiming I was overreacting since I had opposed having children. I insisted on a DNA test during her pregnancy, which she agreed to, and it unexpectedly confirmed that the baby was mine, indicating my vasectomy may have failed. I apologized repeatedly for accusing her of cheating but did not admit to having had the procedure.
Now, she is distant and contemplating divorce, saying I seemed more focused on accusing her than on the pregnancy itself. I’m unsure whether telling her about the vasectomy now would help explain my suspicions or only make things worse. How should we move forward, especially with a child on the way? I’m completely lost and need guidance.