My wife (28F) and I (30M) have been married for three years, and overall, our relationship has been good. Before tying the knot, we both agreed that we didn’t want children. However, after we got married, she changed her mind and became determined to have a baby. Despite my reminders about our earlier agreement, she stood firm, while I remained certain that I didn’t want kids.
To avoid ongoing conflict, I secretly underwent a vasectomy last year. I didn’t tell her, believing it was justified since she had gone back on our original decision. A few months later, she came to me excitedly announcing that she was pregnant. I was stunned and immediately assumed she had been unfaithful, though she had no idea about my vasectomy.
She was deeply offended by my accusation, calling it absurd and accusing me of being paranoid because of my aversion to having children. Still, I insisted on a DNA test while she was pregnant, and she reluctantly agreed. To my surprise, the test confirmed that the baby was mine, meaning my vasectomy had failed.
I apologized repeatedly for accusing her of cheating but didn’t confess to having the procedure. Now, she’s distant and talking about divorce, saying that I cared more about accusing her of infidelity than about our baby.
I’m torn about whether I should finally tell her the truth about the vasectomy to explain why I reacted the way I did. I’m afraid it could make things even worse. With a child on the way, I’m completely lost and unsure how to fix this situation.