In November 2022, an individual anonymously posted their story on Reddit’s “Off My Chest” forum. They disclosed being in a six-year relationship and engaged for the past eight months with their fiancé, referred to as Ryan. While the poster mostly handled wedding preparations, Ryan occasionally contributed his ideas.
Around a month prior, in October, Ryan surprised the poster with an unusual request. He revealed discussing wedding arrangements with coworkers and proposed that the poster should not wear a white dress.
Ryan’s suggestion initially confused the original poster, but she dismissed it, attributing it to his artistic tendencies. Initially, she thought it might relate to creative aspects of the wedding, such as photography.
However, after the argument, she found herself feeling “disgusted” by Ryan’s behavior, leading her to reassess their relationship.
Despite Ryan’s suggestion, the original poster remained firm in her decision to wear white and communicated this to him. Although Ryan appeared to be a combination of annoyance, he eventually relented and dropped the matter.
Two weeks before their wedding, the woman made the decision to purchase her wedding dress, which sparked a significant controversy with her fiancé. He became noticeably irritated and insisted on seeing the dress, but she firmly declined, wanting to preserve the element of surprise for their special day.
Despite her refusal, he pressed further, inquiring about the dress’s color. When she revealed that it was white, his reaction was explosive. His insistence on her not wearing white puzzled her, as it was a conventional choice for brides. When she questioned him about his preference for red, Ryan unveiled a shocking belief: he believed that brides should only wear white if they were “pure.”
Their relationship began when OP was 21, with her fiancé just turning 20. He had been a virgin when they met, while she had a single previous partner, her high school sweetheart of four years. Despite initial insecurities, they appeared to have moved past them—until the moment Ryan made his shocking request.
In a desperate attempt to persuade OP to see things his way, Ryan sought support from his mother, but she ended up siding with OP. This led to a tense confrontation in their living room, where Ryan, his mother, and OP engaged in a heated argument about the symbolism associated with her chosen dress.
Even Ryan’s mother pointed out that he was no longer a virgin, suggesting that he should also wear red. The confrontation left Ryan in tears, yet he remained steadfast in his belief that OP wearing white would deceive their wedding guests, insisting that the standards were somehow different for men.
The subsequent events deeply shook OP’s faith in her relationship with Ryan. The argument and his fixation on her past caused her to feel “disgusted” by his actions, prompting her to seriously reconsider their future together.
What perplexed her even more was Ryan’s unexpected fixation on her past, particularly her loss of virginity at 18, long before they had even met. This revelation weighed heavily on her, leading her to openly vent her frustrations and seek understanding from anyone who would listen.
In a later update on the “Dating Advice” forum, dated November 24, 2022, OP found herself facing a new predicament after breaking off her engagement. She was preparing for her first date in six years, unsure of what attire would be appropriate. Commenters suggested she wear red.
Given the circumstances, many may empathize with OP’s decision to end her engagement, considering the significant issues that arose and the impact they had on her. However, opinions may vary, and some might have chosen differently in similar situations.