My wife (28F) and I (30M) have been married for three years, and our relationship has generally been positive. Before we got married, we agreed not to have children. However, after our wedding, she changed her mind and insisted on having a baby. Despite my reminders about our original agreement, she was firm in her desire. I, however, still felt strongly that I didn’t want kids.
To avoid conflict, I secretly had a vasectomy last year. I didn’t tell her because I felt justified after she went against our agreement. A few months later, she happily told me she was pregnant. I was shocked and accused her of cheating, even though I hadn’t shared that I had the vasectomy.
She found my accusations ridiculous and thought I was overreacting since I had always been against having children. I then insisted on a DNA test during her pregnancy, which she reluctantly agreed to.
The test confirmed that the baby is mine, suggesting that my vasectomy may not have worked. I apologized repeatedly for suspecting her of cheating but refused to admit I had secretly had the vasectomy.
Now, she’s distant and considering divorce, saying I cared more about accusing her of infidelity than about the pregnancy. I’m uncertain whether I should reveal that I had the vasectomy without telling her beforehand, as that’s why I thought she had cheated. Will telling her now make things worse? How should we handle this, especially with a baby on the way? I’m confused and need advice on how to resolve this.