I’m 21, very pregnant with twins, and also caring for my two-year-old son. My husband (27) asked that his mother move in with us after her husband passed away six months ago, saying she needed support because of her age and grief.
Ever since she moved in, I’ve felt incredibly uncomfortable. She’s extremely critical, constantly correcting the way I do things, and nothing I do is ever good enough for her. We come from different cultures, and although I try very hard to respect hers, she still finds fault with everything.
She orders me around the house and expects me to cater to her. I’ve tried to be patient because she’s my husband’s mother, but the stress has brought me to tears more than once. One time she asked me to make a traditional dish from her country—something I’d never cooked before—and refused to help. Then she took a single bite, said it was terrible, and dumped the entire plate in the trash.
When I clean, she stands over me, criticizing every move and saying she can’t believe her son married someone who “doesn’t know how to be a wife.” When I ask her to treat me better, she immediately goes to my husband and twists the story, claiming I’m being disrespectful to her.
I’m exhausted, pregnant, stressed, and finally hit my limit. I told her I wasn’t doing anything else for her until she learns to respect me. I reminded her that whether she likes it or not, I’m the mother of her grandson and her unborn granddaughters—I am part of this family.
She snapped that “women these days don’t respect their elders” and said she was disgusted when her son chose me. She then called my husband and, of course, only shared her version of events. Now he’s angry with me, saying I should try harder to maintain a relationship with his mother because she’s grieving.
The frustrating part is that I’ve brought all of this to his attention before, and every time he brushed it off, insisting his mom would “warm up to me eventually.” She hasn’t. And I feel completely alone in my own home.