My daughter-in-law often asks me to watch her two kids from her previous marriage, and they tend to eat a lot. I told her, “You need to pay for the groceries.” She just smirked. That evening, I realized my credit card was missing. When I confronted her, she admitted, “I took your card. I can’t always bring cash when I drop off the kids, so I thought this would be easier. I bought groceries to make up for the food.”
Her response caught me off guard. She gave me back my credit card but didn’t apologize. Instead, she said, “Look, I can’t keep paying for their lunches every time. You’re their grandmother now, so this is part of the deal.” She said it with such a dismissive tone, as if I should’ve expected this. I was shocked. Yes, they are my step-grandchildren, but does that mean I’m expected to cover all their costs just because I babysit them?
I’ve always tried to be kind and supportive, especially since they’re adjusting to their new family situation. But this felt different—like she was taking advantage of my generosity and ignoring boundaries. Later that evening, I spoke to my son, hoping he’d understand and address the issue, but he brushed off my concerns, saying, “She didn’t mean any harm.”
Now, I’m feeling a mix of hurt, anger, and guilt. Did I overreact, or is it time to set clearer boundaries with my daughter-in-law? I’m struggling with how to balance my self-respect with maintaining family harmony in this situation.