My wife (28F) and I (30M) have been married for three years and generally have a good relationship. Before tying the knot, we both agreed we didn’t want kids. However, after the wedding, she changed her mind and became determined to have a baby. Even though I reminded her of our earlier agreement, she was adamant, while I remained firm in not wanting children.
To avoid conflict, I decided to get a vasectomy last year without telling her. I felt justified since she had gone back on our original deal. A few months later, she excitedly told me she was pregnant. I was shocked and immediately suspected infidelity, even though she had no idea I’d had the procedure.
She was hurt and confused by the accusation and thought I was being unreasonable, simply because I was against having children. I demanded a paternity test during her pregnancy, and she reluctantly agreed. When the results confirmed I was the father, it became clear my vasectomy hadn’t worked. I apologized repeatedly for accusing her of cheating—but I still didn’t admit to having the vasectomy.
Now, she’s emotionally withdrawn and is talking about divorce. She feels that my first reaction was to assume she was unfaithful, rather than supporting her and the pregnancy. I don’t know if I should finally come clean about the vasectomy to help explain my reaction, or if doing so would only make things worse. With a baby on the way, I’m lost and unsure of how to fix this situation. I really need advice.
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